...I discovered that there was something else that needed to show up, too; not only my mind but also my body and my spirit. And that’s when things really started to shift for me. I don’t think I’m there 100% of the time with 100% of my mind, body and spirit but I can tell you that when I notice my edges softening (meaning as the edges of my body soften and begin to blend in with the universe) I’ve discovered that’s when the magic happens. In Tantra we talk about tapas and spanda. It’s one of the 7 principles that Dr. Rudy Ballentine and his group of learners have blessed us with. In their version spanda can arise when the container or tapas is strong or real or available or intentionally created or not created at all because even just showing up means there’s a container that you put yourself into. But that’s a whole other blog post. :D Suffice it to say, the magic happens. There’s an elevated consciousness (spanda) and within that elevated consciousness more is revealed.
Recently a client took a little while to write back to me after I had written back to them at the end of an appointment. I have a habit of writing to the folks that I see at the end of an appointment usually within 24 hours to let them know that I appreciated being able to spend time with them. I’m not blowing smoke up somebody’s ass with those notes. I actually believe that every single experience I have with someone in the tapas (container) of my practice I really do appreciate on whatever level. There are times I enjoy it more than others but most of the time I really do respond and learn from the person that I’m with. So this person took a few days to respond to me. Of course, as is sometimes my habit since I’m human, I suffered from a little anxiety like most of us do (not a huge amount just the usual amount). I was just thinking about it and thought, “Oh gosh, maybe they didn’t enjoy themselves” or “Maybe it was not the right fit” or “Maybe I wasn’t right. And I took Lola Davina’s advice and sat with it for a while and breathed into it and realized, “Okay, those are valid points but that’s not where I want to stay”. So I started to move forward a little bit toward a better feeling thought. I started to meditate on what was really going on. I discovered that I wanted to know what that person had processed. I wanted to be in on that experience. I felt like I’d been a part of it and I wanted to be in on the next step. “Hey, that was great!” or “Hey, we could have done something different. Can we talk about tweaking our experiment?” or “Wow! I really didn’t like that”. I wanted to have that opportunity to download with that person. To talk with that person and be present mind-body-spirit and see if the magic would show up. And so I ruminated a little bit longer on it and I thought, “How can I get with that person so that my heart’s desire can be made known?” Or at least tell that person that’s how I’m feeling. So, I decided to respond in an email. I invited them to share with me their process. In the email I told them that the reason I felt that way was because I wondered if they shared their process with me that it could it deepen our time together if they chose to come again. And together we could uncover ways in which I could more fully support their goals for our time together. I haven’t heard back. I may update this when I do and I may not. It might get too personal. But it showed me that if I stay present and I show up then my desires can manifest themselves in ways that support not only me and my practice but also the people that I see. I’m excited to be able to offer that level of consciousness. And I’m also excited to be able to witness, receive and be part of that level of consciousness. This experience has just underscored my belief that people are fascinating. That they are precious and worthy of exquisite care.